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July 03, 2018
Your maid of honor is the one you chose to stand by your side for what will soon be one of the most magical, memorable and most terrific days of your life…your wedding! She’s your bff– sister – most cherished confidant. The maid of honor has a huge responsibility to help make your wedding everything you want it to be.
The days leading up to the BIG DAY stressful and tiresome. Let’s be honest…it’s not easy to plan a wedding. But no need for concern – we are here to help you figure out the bride and maid of honor relationship to ensure you and your go-to-girl have an amazing time experiencing these very special moments together. Take a second to learn some of our favorite tips to keep the ball rolling!
The gal you chose to be your maid of honor was most definitely chosen for a reason. Of course she is one of your closet pals and favorite people, but you also chose your maid of honor because you knew she could handle the task.
Her role is vital. You must go forward with a mutual understanding of exactly what is expected from each other. This understanding goes both ways. Your maid of honor will have certain specific responsibilities that are tradition to prepare for your wedding. However, this goes both ways. You must give her guidelines and help with the directions and responsibilities you are expecting form her.
You will want your maid of honor to lead certain tasks and take on certain duties. This should not come at all as a surprise…however it is so so so important that you set these expectations up ahead of time so no one is astounded or confused. Sit down with your maid of honor and tell her what you hope for her to do for the days leading up to the wedding.
Is she supposed to plan your bridal party and…what about your bachelorette party? How much do you want her to lead and direct your bridesmaids? Do you expect for her to coordinate certain events like your transportation, accommodations, hair, makeup, invitation addressing, place cards, creating a wedding playlist, setting up the cake and menu tasting for the big day?
What about the actual wedding day…do you want your maid of honor to act as your hostess and assist guests as they arrive to the wedding venue? Correlate and check up on vendors, such as your photographer, caterer, baker and DJ, on the actual wedding day to ensure everyone is in proper place and on time?
How about setting guidelines for maid of honor responsibilities during the actual wedding ceremony…you probably want her to sign the marriage license as your witness, help primp your dress and hair for the reception and help guests with gift and card placement at the reception venue.
The list goes on. It’s up to the bride to decide what she wants from her maid of honor and then it’s also the bride’s responsibility to check and mutually agree with her maid of honor on exactly what tasks are expected. Communication is truly key.
Some brides and maid of honors even agree on a checklist to confirm each task is handled with the proper care it deserves. Depending on the bride, some ladies in white want to stay in charge of most things and give the maid of honor minimal tasks…while other brides want much more help with planning the big day and expect assistance with the many events and errands leading up to it. There are tons of example checklist and ideas online as well to give the bride and maid of honor an idea of what other bestie duos expect during their wedding planning days.
Now that we have layered our what is expected from the very special maid of honor, what about the bridesmaids? Their role is equally important to keeping the wedding flowing on cue. Just as you set out expectations for the maid of honor…your bridesmaids should also carry a general understanding of how they should assist the maid of honor.
Often time, bridesmaids HELP the maid of honor to plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The bridesmaids can also help to decorate and chip in money (the maid of honor should not have all the financial responsibility for these fun events). Everything will run much more smoothly if each person is on the same page!
Obviously, every detail, moment and event will not go perfectly as planned. No matter how much prework goes into the bachelorette party, bridal shower or even the wedding – nothing is perfect (and that’s perfectly okay!) You should have no reason to feel disappointed or annoyed.
If your baker brings the cake 20 minutes late because the maid of honor accidently forgets to call him to triple check deliver times – no big deal! If you forget to communicate to your maid of honor that you desperately want her to create a 60-minute country music playlist for the reception and she makes it forty-five minutes long instead – no big deal! Minor short comings and mistakes will happen. The most important take away is to merely and simply expect the unexpected and do not bank on everything to run perfect. If you keep this little tidbit of knowledge in mind, you will never feel disappointed!
One more VERY important thing to keep in mind…you must recognize the amount of time, energy, pressure and high expectations you have placed on your maid of honor. We beg you, do not forget to communicate and tell her just how thankful, proud and happy you are to have chosen her. You can never thank a person too much! Let your maid of honor know how great of a job she has done to make all your dream wedding expectations and preparations a reality. Without her, what would you have done? The maid of honor has a very special and irreplaceable role in your wedding and in your heart!
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