What to do When Your Bridesmaids Aren't Friends
You've whittled down your bridesmaids list. You've assembled the perfect group out of girls closest to you – your sister, your future sister-in-law, your childhood best friend who's flying out from Minnesota to be in your wedding, your soul sister from summer camp, your college roommate, and your work BFF. You're so close with each of them and can't imagine getting married without any one of them by your side. And what else do these future bridesmaids of yours all have in common?
Umm... Other than loving your guts? Not much.
While some have a group of 6-10 girlfriends that are all just as tight with each other as they are with the bride-to-be, some accumulate a lot of different close friends during different seasons of life. Some have a lot of friends that are really similar to each other, some have friends that are kind of all over the place. Some might worry that their friends won't get along with each other – others might already know for sure that their friends don't get along. Regardless of the relationship your bridesmaids have with each other, the most important relationship in the equation is their bond with you.
Still, there are things every bride can do to make sure their bridesmaids have a good time with each other. Thinking about your bridal party's dynamic is important because, let's face it, they're going to be hanging out together even more than they'll be hanging out with you, especially on the day of your wedding. Here are a few tips to help your bridesmaids get along and enjoy each other's company.
Let each of your soon-to-be bridesmaids know who their fellow 'maids will be, right after you pop the question. If you know that two of your bridesmaids haven't really gotten along with each other in the past, let them know as soon as possible that they're going to have to spend a lot of time together. Don't wait for them to find out at the first pre-wedding event – give them plenty of time to prepare.
The Problem Friend
If, as you're making your bridesmaids list, you have one friend on it that has a problem with basically all of your other bridesmaids – you might want to reconsider adding her to the group. Sure, it's possible for your friends to be civil with each other even if there's some bad blood between them – but it'll probably stress you out, and it might be best to just avoid it altogether the best you can. Any good friend of yours will understand.
Do Some Matchmaking
Maybe both your sister and your friend from work are obsessed with Riverdale. Or, maybe your future sister-in-law and your childhood best friend are two of the funniest people you know. Think about which of your future bridesmaids would get along best, then try to pair them up often and early. Your friends may not know each other, but you sure do!
Be Highly Complimentary
Talk your friends up! Tell your friends about how much you love your other bridesmaids, and they'll be excited to get to know one another. Let them know what you love about them and what unique energy they'll bring to the bridal party. If there ever is any drama among your bridesmaids, resist the urge to ever join in on complaining or gossiping. Let's hope there isn't any drama, but if there is, you DEFINITELY don't want to get involved.
Get Together Early
Consider having a luncheon all together, as soon-to-be bride and bridesmaids, shortly after you let your bridesmaids know who they are. It doesn't have to be a big event – just a casual gettogether for the purpose of getting to know each other apart from all of the usual wedding festivities. The sooner your friends become better acquainted with one another, the better!
Get Your MOH in on it
Really, it's your maid of honor who's in charge of making sure your bridesmaids always have it together. Let her know that you're concerned about everyone getting along. Tell her all about the other bridesmaids. Ask her to try to make sure everyone feels included – if not by the entire group, then at least by her. It's part of her job!
Nothing can divide a group of girls quicker than jealousy can. Make sure all of your bridesmaids feel that they are an equally special and necessary part of the group. Ask them all for input on wedding planning when appropriate – even asking for random opinions here and there on décor or catering menu can make them feel valued and thought of. Regularly express your love and appreciation to them, as a group and individually.
Manage Your Expectations
If you're expecting that after your wedding day, the group of bridesmaids that you threw together will become that super tight group of girlfriends you always dreamed of... Well, you might be disappointed. Shoot to make sure that everyone has an enjoyable experience and feels included – not that each bridesmaid immediately gains 5 new best friends that'll go out to brunch together every Saturday. It might happen! But it doesn't need to in order for you and your bridesmaids to have a great experience.
Remember, this is your special day. Every single one of your bridesmaids is in your wedding because they love you, not because they love your other friends. It's great to think about how to make sure your friends have a great time at your wedding – that makes you a super considerate friend! But know that as long as your bridesmaids know that you love them, they'd be totally stoked to be there for you even if everyone else in the wedding party was totally awful and mean. Do what you can and then let them be – you've got enough to worry about!